Living With Type 1 Diabetes
In 2006 I went to an intense 30 day yoga training at Kripalu Yoga Center in the Berkshire Mountains. After a very profound session with one of the senior yoga teachers, I had the opportunity to speak with her. I told her I had Type 1 diabetes since I was a kid. Her verbal response was….”NOW….. THAT’s a yoga pose!” Her emotional response was dripping with compassion.
I was immersed in one of the most profound training experiences of my life – – being introduced to the deeper aspects of yoga. I had been practicing yoga for six years prior to going to Kripalu. My yoga practice had transformed my body and mind. I saw yoga as a metaphor for what I am tasked to do as a Type 1 Diabetic.
Both yoga and living with T1D involves issues of restriction, alignment, balance, attention, focus, letting be and manifestation of life force energy (prana).
Now that’s a yoga pose.
I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes at the age of 14 in 1976. I had not been brought up with any real model of how the world works except that it revolved around me and my immediate family. I soon came to realize that this model was not very workable and started to explore other possible ways of understanding “how it works.”
In college I studied the great philosophers and the great religions and have continued to study, explore and experiment throughout my life. I have never been able to buy into any particular way of looking at our existence (like a religion or a cult) and have managed to stay in a low grade fever of existential crisis pretty much all of my life.
The acquisition of Type 1 Diabetes was a shock and it focused my attention on my mortality perhaps quicker than most get to think about it. However, all of my study and exploration has not been for not. I have come to a foundational understanding of the human condition that I believe is true and accurate and is supported by the latest science and current ways of thinking in the circles of transformational psychology.
I have discovered and, therefore, hold the assumption that the foundation of spirituality is found in the interplay between Fulfillment and Desire. Two apparent polar opposites. Our world is full of polar opposites. And Fulfillment vs. Desire is the Grand Daddy of them all.
So, how does Type 1 Diabetes relate to this spiritual paradox of fulfillment and desire? Well, the mechanism in the body that is effectively destroyed via the “catching” of Type 1 Diabetes is a critical one. In fact, it is a point of single failure, which if left untreated, results in the destruction of the whole organism. In other words, you die. It takes a few days or weeks perhaps but a human body cannot survive without insulin.
A closer look at the process that is involved reveals a fatal crash of a system that keeps in balance fulfillment and desire. The body desires the metabolism of food. The fulfillment of this desire is “blocked” with a diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes. Insulin is the one thing that links the desire to the fulfillment. It is “The Key”.
Spirituality focuses on God as Fulfillment and our soul as Desire. Is God Insulin? No, God is Life. So what is the link between us and God. Some say it is living a life of restriction; of a certain moral code. Well, when you have Type 1 diabetes you are faced with a choice. You can take your insulin and hope for the best. You can not take your insulin and die. Or, you can dive into it with all of your desire to heal and begin to see and have revelation of the infinite desires we are. Most of them are fulfilled without us even knowing it.
Getting a disease like Type 1 diabetes is now, for me, an opportunity thanks to the invention of injectable insulin to contemplate the desires we have and the fulfillment that has already been manifested. This thought construct will cultivate an attitude of gratitude and peace that will propel one to realize success in the management of blood sugars. There is a lesson to be learned with having Type 1 Diabetes. This I am convinced of.
One final thought. A great sage once said….”Fulfillment is the seed of Desire.” Think about this. Meditate on this. I will give you a clue to the depth of this perspective. Fulfillment came first. In fact, Fulfillment created Desire.
If you have the desire to heal then the fulfillment is there. It, perhaps, is a process of discovery!